Being, Life Coach, WonderPlay Coaching

5 Steps to Transforming a Win-Lose Into a Win-Learn

Think about what you would classify as a totally devastating disaster.

There is a golden opportunity there!

I don’t say this to minimize grief or pain – those are really important parts of the human experience, and they need time and attention. I am simply making the assertion that you can have a 180 in the next moment – if you allow it. Give yourself permission to transform a Win-Lose situation into a Win-Learn in these five steps.

Fail early, Fail often, But always Fail Forward. (1)

1. Discover the gifts.

In a situation that didn’t go as perfectly or smoothly as you had wanted, get curious. If this “failure” was actually designed for you as Training from the Universe, what could the title of the lesson be? What lessons would benefit you as you move forward in your life? Consider that every opportunity to learn is always a gift. In my coach training program, we called this turning “Problems to Opportunities,” which I lovingly refer to as “Probportunities.”

2. Look critically within.

In my Advanced Choral Conducting course in college, my professor said something about leadership that has profoundly impacted me. “If the ensemble is not doing what you want them to do, look inside first.” Is there something about your Being that has internally or explicitly drawn this result to you? Garner the courage to look, without judgment, and discover where you can shift your Being to invite more success. (Want help? Schedule a sample session with me!)

3. Take radical responsibility.

Related to the quote above, consider that everything in your life was drawn to you, by you. If it seems like events have happened *to* you rather than *because* of you, practice releasing any trace of victim mentality. I particularly enjoy practicing with mantra or affirmations, such as “I am a powerful creator. I speak and act boldly as the master of my experience.” (More of those, here!)

4. Play like a scientist.

Don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater at every undesirable outcome. Use what worked, and treat the project like an opportunity to polish up the rough patches. Give yourself the power to persistently stick to your convictions, and yet take the freedom to play and experiment with what could be tweaked or improved. At some point, with enough careful gathering of evidence, you may find remarkable results with fairly small adjustments.

5. Appreciate the challenge.

Remember that this is a journey, and you are not alone. Take the time and space to acknowledge yourself fully. Take a veritable bath in love and compassion. Fill your cup or regenerate your spoons for the next day. Remember that you are the star of your movie, and even the superhero experiences minor setbacks. Express gratitude for the possibilities this presents. And get back out there, you resilient warrior you!
So, the next time you find yourself hooked by something that feels bigger or more awful than you can bear, remember that life is what you make it. Enjoy the adventure!

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