Chaos, Life Coaching, Perfect, Perfection, Pole Dance, WonderPlay Coaching

Chaos As Perfection

I’d like to introduce you to a tiny video clip from a final dress rehearsal.
This is from my 2018 pole competition piece. Turn the sound up to hear my reaction to breaking a piece of a prop: “Sh*t. There goes that!” Unexpected result: it was one hell of a dress rehearsal run – arguably even better than the actual performance, when the props all stayed in one piece.

What is possible when our best-laid plans go awry?
BluesSHOUT! 2016, featuring myself and partner Curtis Ellis when we heard an unexpected lyric during our [blues dance] competition final. Who KNOWS what happened next. PC Mélanie Bert


I know that I can create a Win-Win situation out of seemingly impossible dichotomies. 

And so I ask:

How can life be Perfect when it seems Messy?

Where am I willing to generate Perfection within Chaos?

How could I see Chaos AS Perfection?

I’ve collected many thoughts on this in the last few years.

I was in a coaching group led by Megan Taylor Morrison and Peter Will Benjamin, who told us that they were practicing the following concept:

“Everything Is Perfect.”

Preparing to swim into a Montezuma waterfall with my husband on our 2018 Costa Rica trip. This video is 3 seconds long because our guide and videographer took this 3 second video. While not what we intended, it certainly does capture part of the spirit of the thing.


I have since changed my understanding of that word.


Perfect doesn’t necessarily imply shiny happy people. It implies that I have everything I need to facilitate my life. “Uncomfortable” does not mean “bad” or “wrong” – in the same way, “perfect” doesn’t mean “idyllic.”

  • I learned from having my bag stolen in Costa Rica how easy, freeing, and simple it can be to release physical objects and possessions, and about what what I truly value. 
  • I learned from Pascal and Belonia, Ayahuasca shamans we met on that same trip in Costa Rica, that the Madre (some would say “The Universe”) teaches and shows us exactly what we need – especially when we ask to see and know it. 
  • I learned from the leader of my training program at Accomplishment Coaching that we might consider that everything that we experience is training. 


In what ways can I see that conditions are perfect to create whatever will be next? How is this “chaos” that I have generated actually a gift, rather than something to bemoan or decry?


This dichotomy of Chaos and Perfection often shows up in creative processes.



There are creative moments that seem incredibly ordered.

Jeff Casey at the Towle Theater puts together a mean production calendar.
Even that, though, gets shifted and changed as we learn and refine the type work an ensemble will really need. You better believe that we have an inspired process with room for every actor to experience their process, and we share expectations of excellence and achievement from the very beginning. And yet, part of what brings the inspiration to that company is that it really ends up being a collaborative experience: anything the actors bring to the table gets considered, to the point of really wild moments becoming part of shows that make the role uniquely theirs.

There are also parts of a creative process wherein explosive brilliance may be unpredictable.

I think of the pole dancers I admire in the community, likeTracee Kafer, who has created an entire movement (Finding Your Freestyle) around the assertion that freedance is a way of exploring and expressing what already exists within.


To bring it back to daily life, I would ask:

how is it perfect right now?

When my housemates don’t use our house calendar the same way I do…


would it make it perfect to reflect that this experience highlights my commitment to:
*creating intentional community where everyone’s time, energy, space, and boundaries are respected and honored,
*and we create time for purposeful and meaningful interactions with each other?

I say yes!

~~~~
When I have piles of notes, papers and business cards on my desk right now…

*is it actually perfect to be bringing my awareness to what information exists in the midst of transitioning to new CRM systems for my business – which I have never needed until now?*Instead of being grumpy about the look of it, can I be grateful for the symptom of growth?*It could also be a way for me to learn what I really want and need from my working space, both physical and digital.

How perfect!

~~~
How could it possibly be perfect that everything in my life is not pretty, presentable, and put together?

*I would say, I’m becoming more aligned in fulfilling commitment to my growth, development,*and being increasingly responsible for bringing my gifts fully to the table – manicured or not.

I have acknowledged that for me, Fully Expressed IS Perfect.


Consider where you stand on 

Chaos as Perfection.


I challenge you to look at what you might consider a “mess” and declare it Perfect, as it is.

I invite you, next time you experience something as a curveball or a monkey wrench (or a downright implosion), that you create gratitude for the training from the Universe as you become one step more prepared for what may be down the road for you.


What Else Is Up at WonderPlay Coaching?!


Human-Up! Workshops

You can catch exercises around this topic, and others, at my monthly Human-Up! Workshops. They’re by donation…and there are pancakes. Check them out here!

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Want to join in the conversation? Come to the ImpacTable! It’s another monthly event over food, glorious food, where I feature awesome impacters in the Chicagoland area who are doing rocking things.

This is my hilarious video about ImpacTable.
Share it with your friends, so they can see what they’re getting into.

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Footnote: RE continuing from the first pole video: the first performance turned out like this. If you want to cheer on the next version, I’m performing it at NAPDC 2018 as International Elite and at Pole Theatre USA as Semi-Pro Dramatic. Woo hoo! Let’s see how perfectly messy I get. <3

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